| Tell me a Story... |
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| 05:04am 24/10/2009 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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Tonight was both joyous and heartbreaking for me.
It was a typical working night at Netherworld (scare the snot out of folks, check on my actors, keep patrons from drunkenly rioting, etc.), but tonight I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of a guest haunter who goes by the name of Carpathian. (Yeah, Solar folks, I snickered too.) Carpathian is a gentle spirit who wanders about the parking lot, mostly being mysterious and creepy, but also telling masterful stories. His Alter Ego and I spent a fair amount of time talking after the show ended about his life, and what had brought him to this point in his life. It was delightful meeting a person so committed to telling his stories and touching lives with his words. On my way home, I flashed back to the last masterful storyteller I’d heard, way back nearly a decade ago.
A good story can change a person’s life. It did mine.
I was a naïve 7th grader on a mission trip to a retirement community in Pleasant Hill. The work was rewarding, and every person that we encountered during our stay so far had been kind, if not necessarily interesting. The community did it’s best to keep us entertained, however, and so every night we had a different activity planned. One particular night the group had been signed up for storytelling by an elderly preacher. When I met Roger Robbennolt, he seemed almost a larger than life character; indeed, his six and a half foot tall frame, wild untamed eyebrows and a half crazed grin made him almost a caricature of himself. We ribbed him gently when we met him at dinner, informing him that we hoped the stories would be “scary”, and told him to “make us jump”.
I wasn’t expecting him to spin a tale that would keep us rapt with attention for six solid hours.
He told us of life growing up in rural Minnesota with his “mindsick” manic depressive father and enabling mother, looking outside for guidance and following in the footsteps of a mystical goat lady, then his shell shocked hermit uncle, and an aged Lakota shaman. We laughed as he told us the stories of the bible verse competition which taught him how to speak without a stutter. We wept as he recalled his father’s darkest days, the beatings and torture his father had put him through, up to and including the rape of his only son. He told of the days of his work on the Carnival circuit, working as a barker for the girlie show, and his eventual decision to become a minister and follow a religious path to be able to help others.
I’d been going to church all of my life, but it took me until that night to really find my faith in God. It rocked my world, and changed my life. Rog’s influence is probably one of the driving forces behind the compassion that I try and show every day.
Well, tonight, after getting home, and being so elated at my new storyteller acquaintance, I decided to look Rog up, and see if he’s published anything new recently.
Instead, I found his obituary.
May 29, 1934 - Dec. 4, 2004
I wish I’d known. But through high school and the two years after, I’ve been so wrapped up in other things that I hadn’t even thought about the man I’d considered a sage and mentor. His words of kindness and compassion have stuck at the back of my brain for the last ten years, but I don’t think of people like that as being mortal.
Storytellers are forever, because their stories live on.
Which is why I’ve decided I’m going to start writing again. I used to write constantly when I was younger, but as I grew older it became an unnecessary burden, a chore or menial task exclusively for evaluation by my professors. I miss being able to pour my thoughts onto the page like liquid ideas. So this is my first entry, and hopefully, with self discipline, it won’t be my last.
Here’s to you, Rev. Roger Robbennolt. You meant more to me than you will ever know. |
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| Wow. |
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| 12:01am 01/06/2009 |
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So, today was kinda awful. Today was one of those days that makes you reflect on your mortality.
Someone brought a gun to Ren Fest today.
Not just someone, a member of the Games staff. I knew him, not well, but I knew his face and name. I know his girlfriend, or at least, his ex. He was someone I'd exchanged casual hellos with every morning before work. He's only 18. He apparently came across as really paranoid, saying something about how snipers were in the trees trying to "get" him. He lied to everyone, including his own girlfriend, saying that the Boss knew about his gun, and that he was cool with it.
When they got his bag, it contained several knives, a loaded, chambered .45 with the safety off, 3 clips, and about 200 rounds of ammunition.
I can't even fathom it. Today very nearly could have been another Columbine, another Virginia Tech. It's really horrifying to consider the what if's. Thank God it got handled... but they didn't even arrest him. They escorted him off the premises, confiscated his gun, and followed him home. I don't know how I feel about the situation. He's obviously troubled, but he could have killed any number of people any number of times. What if some customer had been incredibly rude to him? What if our boss had, as he has been known to do, dogged him and given him so much shit he couldn't stand it anymore? Too many questions. |
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| Better and better. |
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| 02:48am 22/04/2009 |
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mood:  distraught
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My cat, Crow, is missing. He's been gone since Sunday night. He's 14. I don't know if he's coming back. |
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| 06:50pm 05/03/2009 |
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Yay Flogging Molly! The show was fantastic, and I had a really good time with Greg, Cole, and Nathan. They played Kilburn High, and (No More) Paddy's Lament, along with all of my favorite staples like Drunken Lullabies and Seven Deadly Sins.
However, last night's amazingness was marred by coming in to work today to find out I was fired.
Thanks Office Depot!
Apparently last night's absence, which they had told me was excused, was not... as I'd feared and suspected. My assistant manager was too chicken shit to do it herself, so she delegated it to the Tech Manager (a friend of mine), and told him to wait until the end of my shift because"we need her".
Wait, what?
So now I'm out a job, and trying to find a new one ASAP. Any leads, feel free to send my way. I'm pretty willing to do anything to get paid at this point, just let me know! |
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| 12:53am 28/01/2009 |
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) carnet_atelier posted this up on her journal, and I had to repost it, because I think the Twilight series is a total waste of time... and so does the guy who played Edward in the movie, evidently.
Take that, teenage angst-pires! |
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| Babies!!! |
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| 04:18pm 10/01/2009 |
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mood:  excited
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It's that time. My beautiful "niece"-to-be is about to make her debut into the world. I'm so nervous, and I'm not even the one giving birth. |
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| 08:02pm 07/12/2008 |
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mood: sad
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Thanks for everyone who left messages on my last post... I really appreciate your support.
My Grammy died this morning... I'll be heading up to Michigan on Tuesday or Wednesday for the funeral.
...Shit, I didn't cry until I actually started writing this down. |
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| 05:21pm 03/12/2008 |
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My grandmother's lawyer just called. They've put her on morphine. After 3 years of hanging on in hospice, she's really-and-truly dying.
I'm numb. |
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| AAAUGH!!! |
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| 11:12am 02/12/2008 |
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mood:  frustrated
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Stupid... bloody... Registrar's office!!!
For those of you who don't know, I'm doing my best to attempt to transfer up to Catawba College in North Carolina. The new semester starts in January. I requested a transcript from Chattahoochee Tech in October and found SERIOUS problems with it, such as classes I never took showing up as F's. So I asked them to fix it.
Three months later, the damn thing STILL ISN'T FIXED.
I've already passed my deadline for transfer to Kennesaw, my backup school. If I get screwed on Catawba, I'm just not going to be taking classes next semester. I'm getting ready to KILL someone over this, and my parents are getting ready to kill me, because they assume that this is all my fault.
Any suggestions for dealing with A. the school or B my parents? |
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| ARG! Real Monstar! |
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| 02:42pm 28/10/2008 |
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mood:  chipper
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Life has been crazy busy for me the last month. Between Office Depot (hereafter referred to as The OD), school, and Netherworld, I haven't been able to find any time to be social or, really, sleep much. Thank goodness it's only another few days until SOLAR. I really need my break from reality. Making money has been good, and I love the Netherspawn like family, but I feel like I've been missing out on game goodness.
This year at Netherworld has been... amazing. The last two years of being at the casting director's beck and call have really paid off for me, and she's really letting me exercise my creativity a lot more. It's been good for getting back into improving in time for a switch into a theatre program this spring. It's also been really good for my waistline- running after people in a warehouse where the temperature typically resides at around 90 degrees is wonderful for the waistline. I have more energy than I've had in a good long while, and lost about 12 pounds just in the last few weeks. Go Go Netherworld diet!! :)
One of the most fun characters I've gotten play recurrently this season is my gypsy, Dame Ysme. It varies from night to night, but her basic concept is that she's a gypsy werewolf dealing with an identity crisis. It's been a blast to play up, and as a result, I've spent a lot of time in pretty jingly garb. So, I've decided I want to start taking bellydance again. I took classes a few years ago for a little while with Amy, but the instructor, simply put, was unimpressive, so if I go back to classes I need to find a new teacher that knows her stuff and still lies within a reasonable price range for a poor college kid. Any of you awesome bellydancer chicks have any suggestions?
I'd really like this cold to go away. It's difficult to be scary when you're constantly having to blow your nose. |
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| 09:21pm 04/06/2008 |
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The burlesque show last Saturday night was incredible. It was so much fun hanging out with Lilo, Steph, Zach, TJ, Q and Andy (when they weren't busy), and(especially) Matt. The acts were awesome too. I don't know who the guy who did the Victorian stand-up was, but he was funny as hell.
Kinda disappointed that I didn't get to try out for the show with Jen and Steph, but that happens sometimes. Hopefully I'll be able to try out for other stuff soon.
I'm done with class for the Quarter! Yay!
I have almost a month if I go back to Chatt Tech, or about two months if I go somewhere else!
Things are generally really good. Only 46 days til I turn 21! |
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| Muhrrrmaids... |
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| 03:44pm 20/05/2008 |
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(Jaime holds a saltine cracker up to her eye) "Hrmm."
Me: "You're ridiculous."
Jaime: "Yeah, maybe, but I'm not the one inside the hole of a saltine cracker."
I love this girl so much. |
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| I R DUN! |
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| 09:22pm 15/05/2008 |
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So I've been stressing out a lot recently because of my online minicourse I've been taking... over the last 4 days, I've left my computer long enough to eat, sleep(a little), use the facilities, go to class and visit Trav once.
AND NOW I'M DONE.
May I present to you what I consider the best thing I've written in this entire goddamned class:
Below is a list of the fifteen laws I try to live my life by. - Always remember that everyone’s human. Begrudge humanity their small mistakes, chances are you’ll make them too.
- Don’t sweat the petty stuff. Conversely, don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
- One person’s voice can make all the difference.
- Don’t eat food larger than your head.
- Faux leather is generally a bad idea in clothing. Shoes, too.
- Drama happens. Let it roll off and keep moving.
- Don’t do stupid things. (Actual advice given to me by mother when I turned 16.)
- Love has no logic to it sometimes. Who you love can make no sense, but loving them is seldom wrong.
- Always look on the bright side of life.
- Taking the time to actually listen and get to know another human being makes more of a difference than you will ever know.
- Don’t love the sinner, hate the sins. Love the person. You have flaws too.
- Forgiveness can almost always be found if you look hard enough for it, However, sometimes you have to cut your losses and walk away.
- Your parents are usually right. Don’t disregard their advice, they were you once.
- Everything will be alright, even if it won’t.
And the one it took me until this year to learn: 15. Forgive yourself. Beating yourself up about your failings and sins will get you nowhere. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. |
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| On the upswing |
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| 01:20pm 24/03/2008 |
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mood:  optimistic
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Lemme start out with some short lyrics that sum up how I feel"
"This is how it works:
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath."
~Regina Spektor, "On the Radio"
It took me hitting rock bottom for me to realize there was a way up. The depression I wouldn't admit to myself these last few months at Steve's is lifting, like an invisible weight on my shoulders is gone. It's showing in my actual weight as well, I've already lost 5 pounds. :)
My parents and I had a long and frank talk and we're TRULY getting along for the first time in years. No secrets, just understanding.
I started a job, and I love it. Working at Office Depot sounded like it was going to be another nightmare, but so far it's been nothing but great. At this point in my Publix career, I was already dreading going to work every day and hating every second of being employed. The people at Office Depot are awesome, and the job truly feels more rewarding.
Travis and I officially broke up... which saddens me, but I think in the long run it's better for both of us. We went into this as Fire and Ice, and that wasn't going to change. I hope we can hang onto our friendship though, I still care about him very much.
My twin soul was in town last week. I was so glad to see her, I've missed Jaime more than I can possibly express. We spent time with Ty and Teri, and then spent most of the rest of the night walking, like we used to. I'm glad to know that even though she and I have both grown, we're still able to talk about everything. I got some things off my chest to her that I have been letting fester inside me for over a year, and she patiently listened and provided feedback.Thanks Jaize, I love you.
I saw Cora recently as well. Hopefully this time there won't be NEARLY as long of a gap between the times that we hang out. I much admire her new outlook on life, she's a joy to be around. Miss Palfy: I'm going to have to visit you soon, or you'll have to come here soon.
A new chapter in my life is beginning, but until I'm entirely sure about things, I don't want to say much more. But thank you SO much to those of you who have been there the last month. You guys really kept me going. |
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| Why do we care? |
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| 03:07am 23/03/2008 |
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mood: pessimistic
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Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance.
This is our last dance!
This is ourselves! |
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| Stolen from Nicole- Guess these movies! |
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| 12:08pm 29/02/2008 |
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1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies. 2. Go to IMDb (or Wikiquote, my personal favorite!) and find a quote from each movie. (or in some cases, just remember them.) 3. Post them here for everyone to guess. 4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it correctly and the name of the movie. 5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb/Wikiquote search functions. That would be cheatin'. 6. Enrique, you're only allowed to answer two of these. Give the other kids a chance to play too! (Seems a fair rule to sick with :-p)
Possible new rules edit for whoever reposts this: Brian isn't allowed to guess more than two either. :) |
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| INFLUENZA'D! |
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| 08:57pm 24/02/2008 |
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Guh. I really hate being sick. I feel like a useless blob of flesh. I have stuff I WANT to be doing, and stuff I SHOULD be doing. But I can barely walk to the kitchen to get more gatorade for myself.
Sorry Kat and Carrie for missing the party, but with my fever and sleeping I would have been a downer. I'll make it up to you somehow...
Moon Pie Cake?
TO DO(as soon as I'm well):
Go to dance class. They're free, so I should take advantage of that fact.
Register for next quarter's classes. This being out of school thing blows.
Find somewhere to live. (Much thanks to those of you who have sent me leads!)
Apply like crazy in new places.
Keep learning the basics of Irish whistle. My tone was getting better every day... until I got sick.
Start sewing like mad. I'm not great at it now, but hopefully with practice I'll get better.
I sleep now. |
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| Regarding my last post. |
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| 11:37pm 22/02/2008 |
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mood:  sick
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It was not my intention to portray my roommate as some sort of soulless monster. On the contrary, he has done some really amazing things, and his intentions are usually good. They were in this particular situation. He wanted to provide a place to live to a couple who will almost certainly be struggling. This is a kindhearted gesture, if not well thought out.
However, I have a right to be angry about the situation. I have a right to feel what I feel. And I have a right to state my opinion on MY Livejournal. This is my own space to vent and get mad. I'm not forcing my opinions of the situation on anyone. I'm not telling peole to hate him. I'm being pissed off, and ranting about it. Take my posts with a grain of salt, as one should do with anyone's opinions.
That's all I'm saying on this. If you have issues with it, contact me privately and we will discuss things. |
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| 02:01pm 12/02/2008 |
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mood: accomplished
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Bare floor!!!
I'm proud to announce that as of 2PM, my room is officially clean. Like, picked up and I can actually see the floor to vacuum it clean.
This may seem like a little thing to be this excited about, but if you know me really well you know how disorganized and ADD I am. My room has been piles upon piles of clothes almost since I moved in. Obviously something is going right with my attempts to clean up my life, body, mind and soul.. :) |
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| 05:18am 05/02/2008 |
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mood:  bored
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As part of my ongoing effort to develop some sort of routine to my life, I'm going to attempt to use this medium to express myself more often. We'll see if I can keep it up this time :)
I just finished reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend. What a brilliant piece of literature. I actually laughed out loud several times during this book, like loud-enough-to-worry-about-waking-my-roommates laughed. If you've read the Bible and, like me, wondered what happened with Jesus between his birth and age 30, pick this up. Not for the faint of religion, however. This book does call into question some tenets of the Christianity in a way some people might find offensive.
Starting up the exercise regimen again. I'm hoping between that and the new ADD meds I'll shed some of that pesky weight that has accumulated since graduation. Not only that, but I want to feel healthier. Quitting smoking was one step, it's time to take the next one and get fit.
I got an email yesterday about a position I applied for working as a Sales Rep for AT&T. They apparently want me to come in and do some testing to make sure I can effectively handle customers. Piece of cake, except that the position requires me to be somewhat bilingual. So does anyone out there know someone proficient with Spanish who would be willing to help me get back into the flow of the language? I'm willing to pay in dinner... and backrubs... and eventual firstborn children maybe.
ARG. Losing my voice. I have an audition for A Midsummer Night's Dream tonight, and it's going the way of a prepubescent teenage boy. Hopefully Ill be able to coax it back with lemon tea and vocal rest. |
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